The Men's Guide to what the Woman really mean

You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I'm Embarassed

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I a little fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Yes = No  |  No = No  |  Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that
we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I
need to look at a few new pocket books,and those pink sheets would
look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]