The Woman's Guide to What the Man is Really Saying

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"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call you sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then we can get down to business

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!