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Corporate Lessons

Assmosis
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project 
failed and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then 
leaves.

Salmon day
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Chainsaw consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

CLM
Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. (Also known as CLB - Career Limiting Behavior)


Dilberted
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. 
The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

Flight Risk
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found,"  meaning that the requested document could not be located.
"Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man."

Ohnosecond
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a 
BIG mistake.

Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to 
work again.

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