A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's
nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put on a shirt and
abutton fell off. I picked up by briefcase and the handle came off. I'm
afraid to go to the bathroom.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his
When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to
my father..."I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...But he
still pulled through."
My mother had morning sickness-after I was born.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
to my father...He said he wanted more proof.
Once when I was lost...I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find
my parents. I said to him..."Do you think we'll ever find them?"
He said..."I don't know kid...there are so many places they can
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
I went to see my doctor, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and
look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?"
He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect"
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.