Lesson number one:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw
the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson number two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson number three:
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses
and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry
the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said,
" We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the
money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the
eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea
of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked
itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became
crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began
to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the
asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts
did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.